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Amusing Wine Terms
Describe someone in the style
of a wine tasting note -
This tasty little number has been carefully brewed by your Big Sister & Little Brother. The grapes have been blended with Jack’s rugby kit & have been lovingly trampled underfoot by Jill and her bunions.
It also comes with a guarantee that this vintage will cause you to finish the night off with a “By Christ Boys I’ll sleep Tonight!”
A fruity wine with top notes of trifle and school lost property cupboard.
A light fruity little wine, with warm soft undertones and a hint of mischief.
Well matured humorous wine with plenty of character.
Technically well developed, robust and with depth you’d expect from its age.
Produced on the steep hills of NAME from fruit- hand picked, positively released and crushed under well worn sandals.
Free from additives, preservatives, salt, hydrogenated fat, palm oil from Borneo, unsustainable fish, or unhappy animals of any kind.
Great served with award winning cheese from NAME and perfect for caravan holidays!
This lively number is typical of the (county) area - a bit rough round the edges but gives you a lovely warm glow.
Hits you like a sledgehammer if you’re not careful but there’s nothing like if for a great night in or out. A genuine classic!
Very much the designer style of wine, one that leads from the front and is popular with the ladies.
This delicate wine has been 9 months on production and shows great promise fro the future.
A scholar amongst wines, well red and always white, it achieves excellent levels of performance.
Some would say this is a full bodied wine, others that it is a bit of a charmer, we know better!
This wine was made from grapes that were joined together in wedded bliss.
A well balanced wine that takes care to be in the peak of well‐being and enlightenment.
made from two distinctly different grape varieties, one rugged and earthy, the other more elegant and refined but together a perfect blend.
A delightful pairing of two young vines, noted for producing a vibrant wine with subtle chill out qualities.
A sassy style of wine that has a very independent style and always in fashion.
This wine will nurture the very soul of those who imbibe its great wisdom
Always drunk at the top social events!Best enjoyed when drunk.
This wine will cause you to finish the night off with a “By Christ Boys I’ll sleep Tonight!”
This cheeky little number is made from grapes grown in.
Michael and have been crushed by Leila’s hands & knees as she staggers home from a night at Jo’s.
It is best enjoyed when recovering from ANOTHER cabardi hangover trying to remember exactly what was said to whom...
May bring on bouts of Mick Jagger impressions!!
A fine fruity 40 year old beginning to acquire polish.
Has a tendency to immature with age.
Drink responsibly and ‘try’ to avoid getting plastered!!
Please drink with caution as you never know what might be inside here.
This fruity little number is sleek and smooth on the palate.
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Quotations & Sayings
Capture the moment and
be expressive -
"In wine there is truth."
Pliny the Elder"But I’m not so think as you drunk I am."J C Squire
"May your glass be ever full, may the roof over your head be always strong, and may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead."
Irish Toast
"May our love be like good wine; grow stronger as it grows older."Old English Toast
"Drink wine and you will sleep well, sleep and you will not sin. Avoid sin, and you will be saved.Ergo, drink wine and you will be saved."Medieval German Proverb.
"If a life of wine, women and song becomes too much, give up the singing."Anonymous
"Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin."P.G. Wodehouse
"Wine is sunlight, held together by water."Galileo
"Wine is the most civilised thing in the world"Ernest Hemingway"Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy."Frank Sinatra
"Here's to the corkscrew - A useful key to unlock the storehouse of wit, the treasury of laughter, the front door of fellowship, and the gate of pleasant folly."W.E.P. French
"A man's got to believe in something. I believe I will have another drink."W.C. Fields
"Wine improves with age. The older I get the better I like it."Anonymous
"Champagne is one of the elegant extras in life."Charles Dickens
"A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world."Louis Pasteur"When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink."Francois Rabelais
"Is the glass half full or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring or drinking."Anonymous
"From wine what sudden friendship springs."John Gay
"Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness."Oscar Wilde
"Burgundy makes you think of silly things, Bordeaux makes you talk of them, Champagne makes you do them."Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
"The secret to enjoying a good wine: open the bottle to allow to breathe. If it does not look like it is breathing, give it mouth to mouth."Anonymous
"Wine is the thinking person’s health drink."Philip Norrie
"When a man drinks wine at dinner. He begins to be better pleased with himself."Plato
"Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol."Anonymous
"Sober or Blotto, this is your motto: Keep Muddling Through."P.G. Woodhouse
"I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."Dorothy Parker
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."Humphrey Bogart
"Life is to short to drink bad wine."Anonymous
"Wine … the intellectual part of the meal."Alexandre Dumas
"Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever."Aristophanes
"Good Company, Good Wine, Good Welcome, can make Good People."William Shakespeare
"For when the wine is in, the wit is out."Thomas Becon
"Drink what you want; drink what you're able. If you are drinking with me, you’ll be under the table."Anonymous